Ministering to Families Affected by Military Deployment

Ministering to Families Affected by Military Deployment

 

 

                                                                                                                                               

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Ideas on the topic of Care for the Veteran and Families

 

1.  St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, Hampton; Rev. Chris Farrow

a. When possible we try to coordinate our activities with the chaplains’ dept or a contact we have on the base.

b. Before someone deploys, on their last Sunday, they and their family are asked to come to the altar for prayer of protection and blessing. On their first Sunday back, they are officially welcomed back and thanked.

c. We send monthly care packages for the first 3 months, with extra items so they can share with their comrades in arms. The cycle then moves to every couple months. Included in these boxes is one usually unnecessary item, but something meant to cheer them up, like CDs of Christmas music (one of our guys was walking down the streets of the green zone in Baghdad listening to the music in July; he got numerous requests to borrow the music), have also sent Christian music CDs, as well as DVDs of general interest (I taped The Planet Earth, a nature show, and sent it over. Sent over taped ice hockey games to guys in a submarine; the report back was these were a big hit.  Things like toilet paper, lens cleaner, water additives, beef jerky, electronic games, fans and batteries, happy birthday banners, even inflatable and seasonal decorations, even Hawaiian shirts for the weekly Friday celebrations/let downs (I forget the name for them), books, men’s interest magazines (hunting, sports, etc), touches of personal luxury for the ladies, as well as small American flags were requested and sent.  One soldier requested we send school supplies for a local orphanage in Afghanistan; we sent over 20 boxes.

d. The congregation wrote “to any service person” letters and cards, not just at Christmas, but any time, to be distributed and shared.

e. Regular email check ins, even telephone calls, where allowable/feasible, to both service personnel and families

f. Prayed for by name: every Sunday, everyday during congregational prayers at 8am, 12 noon, 8pm and every Wednesday evening at the prayer ministry meeting

g. The weekly sermons are sent electronically, with texts.

Services offered to families: meals, babysitting, regular check-ins.  For one family, a single parent whose teenage children were sent to live with an aunt and uncle on the west coast, we paid for the two to come back for Winter Celebration and be with their friends from St. Paul’s for a few days as well.  The kids email each other and get e-sermons as well for a “touch of home”.

i.  St. Paul’s has also been working with the Hampton VA for over 2 years now. We first went to their psychiatric wards, as we were told no one hardly visited them. We found an alarmingly high percentage of recent vets there. We visited quarterly, with Christmas with the Vets, where we served cookies and pop and sang carols; we have an “un-birthday party” where we grill out with them in the summer. Each time we visit, we bring t-shirts and socks for every person. We make sure every single person is engaged, as they are able, the entire time with our folks. Most of the folks who go, have some tie to military service, and we point that out.  And always, always, always do we thank them for their service

We have gift certificates to local grocery stores in a flower pot which is placed in our parlor for anyone in need. This is a totally anonymous way of helping folks, and we find that it often is used by military families.

j. A good site we found for ideas is www.MilitaryMinistries.com

 

2.  St. Paul Lutheran Church, Strasburg; Sonya Williams-Giersch, AIM

Our congregation has done several different things for outreach to our military overseas.  We have made & sent cards, care packages, corresponded with soldiers that had no contact with home, sent supplies for the troops, and holiday banners.  We also pray for them in Sunday worship.  And we had a covered dish picnic to celebrate the homecoming of several of our members from overseas.

 

3.  St. John’s Lutheran Church, Winchester; Rev.Lance Braun, Vice Pastor and Stated Supply

a. St. John’s Winchester does have a local person serving in Afghanistan with classified operations, and we have a Major General in the National Guard going to Iraq next month, then on to Afghanistan also.

b.  So far we are doing most of the things you have suggested in your email inquiry:
c.  We as pastor and congregation currently make efforts to reach out to deployed soldiers and families and plan to have special efforts to care for these veterans upon their return from deployment.  We have read letters in church from military service persons in our area. We have also sent prepaid phone cards to soldiers to use to “call home”.
d.  We pray for our military in Sunday worship every Sunday ; we send care packages; have email contact with our member currently deployed; we send our Sunday bulletin and community news by regular surface mail (42 cent postage only takes 5 days to get there) as well as devotional materials.
e.  After deployment:  we plan to welcome home and celebrate with returning soldiers; we are giving support to the family of our local soldier while he is away... this has been much appreciated. We have a good size group of veterans in both congregations who have been very supportive of these efforts.

4.  Good Shepherd Lutheran Church   Rev. Pat Nabers

a.  At Good Shepherd, we do a number of things for service people:  2-3 times a year we take up a collection and send many boxes of “stuff” we hope they can use or enjoy.  Also 2-3 times a year somewhere between 1 and 3 people go to Walter Reed to visit the wounded soldiers.  Every contact we have with a service person is followed up by a letter written by the congregation thanking them for their service.  Our Service men and women are listed on our prayer concerns in our bulletin each week, as well as in our newsletter.  Except for the patients at Walter Reed, we have not had much contact with returning service men and women.

Something that would be helpful is a better way to get names to send boxes to.  I usually put the hit on my nephew, who is in the army, to give me names and addresses of some of his buddies who are deployed.  Or if someone in the congregation has a connection to a service person, we use that name and address.  I’m never sure we’re sending the right things and have this image of a giant pile of socks in Baghdad when what they really need are hats!

 

5.  Messiah Lutheran Church, Mechanicsville  Rev. Lou Florio

            Messiah has a number of past veterans and some who remain active in the VFW. So, the congregation has been regularly collecting items to be sent overseas (facilitated by the VFW). In addition, we currently have two members (a husband and wife) in Iraq. We sent them special care packages, including cards from our school program students and a big poster made and signed by congregational members. Each week, we send them an electronic copy of the worship bulletin and sermon to help supplement their worship. I try to always write a special update in the email with news of life here in the congregation. Each month, we send them an electronic copy of our newsletter. The wife sent pictures and news for us to include in our newsletter as well. Every Sunday at worship, we pray for those serving, their families, and those returning from war. We pray by name for those from the congregation and folks requested to be prayed for by members of the congregation. Our congregation also tries to collect things when the local VA Hospital expresses a need. In addition, the Sitter & Barefoot Veterans Care Center is located on the McGuire Veterans Hospital Property.  It is a nursing home for Va. Veterans.  They are reportedly not receiving volunteer activities.  The social ministry committee is going to investigate their needs.

6.  Grace Lutheran Church, Chesapeake  Rev. Rick Gates

Being an Iraqi War Vet and the current pastor of Grace Lutheran Church, Chesapeake let me weigh in on this subject. I strongly urge ELCA leadership, including all our churches, to intentionally offer intercessory prayer at weekly worship services for our nation’s military men and women in harm’s way in Iraq and Afghanistan. If a church has a member there that name should be in the prayer as well.

In the 2 years I have been in the VA Synod I have not heard a prayer spoken specific to our nation at war and especially those serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Generalized prayers for our military do not count. I am sorely disappointed and bothered by that and returning vets would be equally bothered by that. I realize that the ELCA leadership does not support this war as well as most pastors. I do not support the war either, but to not support our troops at this level of spiritual support sends a bad message. Before going any farther to assist returning vets, the church and its pastors need to correct this wrong. I would like to believe that I am not a lone ranger or one of the few pastors in the VA SYNOD or ELCA to pray for our vets during worship.

 

8.  Margaret Ashby

I am very interested in the soldiers program that the ELCA is developing.  When I was Vicar at St. Mark (Yorktown), I attended a series of workshops called ‘Bridging the Gap’ presented for local clergy by the chaplains at Ft. Eustis.  The army chaplains are acutely aware of the challenges of ministering to soldiers who return from combat deployments and are instantly back into civilian life.  They observed that in the soldiers’ eagerness to be home, they did not hear all the information to help them readjust (programs, medical info, etc.) during their debriefing. 

They suggested:  1.clergy keeping the phone numbers and lists of military resources handy for referrals, 2. clergy building relationships with chaplains in guard units, 3. linking soldiers w/ Vietnam vets as listeners, 4. being aware of the types of experience that occur in combat and be prayerfully prepared to listen without shock that would shame the soldier.

I suggest that as Lutherans and clergy we are called to hold the gov’t accountable when it does not take proper care of the body and goods of its people.  We have a social responsibility to speak up and require that the gov’t provide complete and useful benefits, including mental and physical health care, insurance, and education benefits, job training for returning vets.   

I also suggest that as Lutherans and clergy charged with the care of the souls of God’s people - that we must publicly rebuke the sin of a gov’t. that would demand that its soldiers use torture and abuse as a weapon of war because of the consequences to the mental health/soul of the soldiers who receive these orders.

I would also suggest that there is much to be learned from our failures as a community.  We would do well to engage the soldiers themselves in conversation, what would be useful to them?  It has been my experience that most people really know what they need and want to solve their own situations, but rarely do people ask them.  We all have a tendency to know what is best for others (especially when it is easy and convenient for us).  The other two groups of people who really know what is needed are the soldiers’ families and employers. 

I would suggest that making available the locations and addresses of VA hospitals and other facilities where the wounded are being treated and receiving rehab and being intentional about visiting, developing relationships, and holding services and Bible studies, and prayer groups would do two things - it supports the understaffed military chaplains and it brings the church/Body of Christ to where the children of God are. 

I am very interested in the results of your meetings and what comes of them.  Please put me on your list of concerned.

 

7.  Trinity Lutheran Church, Wytheville  Rev.  Steve Ridenhour

We have continued our ministry of Phone Cards and Prayers for deployed Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  It is fairly simple, we have provided phone cards to Chaplains and church members or friends deployed in these countries.  The chaplain offices and others distribute these to those who they feel need them the most.  We send cards as donations come in, Usually, about $500.00 worth of 120 minute cards at a time.  During certain times of the year we have also sent care packages, with items like wet wipes, batteries, gum, etc.   We often receive email or cards from Troops, which we post on our web site or on our bulletin board.  We have received donations from congregations, Thrivent, and individuals across the Synod who have heard about our ministry.  Check out our web site  www.troopsupportministry.org.   We include troops by name in our prayers on Sunday mornings and in our newsletter.  I estimate that we have mailed about 3500 cards since we began this ministry.

 

 

8.  Rev. Jim Baseler

Jim recommended that pastors look at  LUTHERAN PARTNERS (July/Aug 2008) in the “Written on the heart” section, p. 11.  There is an article entitled My Alive Day written by Chaplain Glenn Palmer. 

 

9.    Ellen Hinlicky

Our son, William, was deployed to Kuwait for 15 months in 2007-08. During that time, one of our churches, Shiloh in Blacksburg, regularly sent care packages to him, and included some of the things you mentioned: phone cards, letters, lots of candy and “American food” and the like. He appreciated these packages very much.

He also got letters from people he did not know, who wrote about their lives in the US, and this meant very little to him. While it was kindly meant, it gave him the feeling that he was being used as a sounding board for Americans, rather than as a way for him to have genuine interaction with people “back home.” He did not respond to these letters, as far as I know.

And once Will returned, all the care and concern ceased, which is perfectly understandable, but he probably needed those expressions of concern even more when he came home.

 

10.   Rev. Jan Ramsey,  Associate Professor of Congregational Care Leadership at Luther Seminary, St Paul, MN

I participate (as a counselor) in a program called “Give an Hour” that offers free professional counseling to VETS. It might be good for participants/pastors to know about this as a possible referral source since the services are free and professional. Here is the web site for the program:
http://www.giveanhour.org/skins/gah/home.aspx?mode=user

11.  Rev. Bill Ridenhour, retired.

I am very pleased that our church is considering helping the veterans who are returning home from our wars.

I did attended a workshop at the Norfolk Naval Base and received from them materials and offers of help to begin this kind of ministry in any church or groups of churches.

I am willing to give these materials to you or give you names of individuals who may be able to help you.

There are over 400,000 military persons including members of their families in the Norfolk/Tidewater area.  To my knowledge, there is only one civilian pastor who works full time with military families and he is a Baptist pastor living in Virginia Beach.

I was told by some naval chaplains that there is no way they can offer any help to most of those who are returning from the wars with their mental and spiritual problems.  One chaplain said, if the civilian churches do not respond to our calls for help, then we are in deep trouble.

I am not a member of the Virginia Synod.  I am a retired ELCA pastor from the DC  Synod.  I do not know if I can be of assistance.  If you think I can help, please call/email me.

 

12.  Lutheran Church of Our Saviour, Richmond  Rev. Ken Ruppar

a. Our weekly worship bulletin includes the names of members, relatives and friends deployed in the military.  We remember these often in our Prayers of the

People.

b. We have sent boxes of books and personal care items to members for their use and to share with other members of their units.  We also sent items to

deployed chaplains for distribution. 

c. Last year as part of a patriotic worship service we created special note cards and had worshipers write messages to

service members thanking them for their service.  Even some of the children attending wrote notes or drew pictures.  These were sent to individuals on our

prayer list, Walter Reed Hospital, local VA hospital, and in bulk to deployed ELCA chaplains asking them to distribute the notes to their units.  We received   emails or letters back from several of the chaplains involved in this project. 

d. I maintain e-mail contact with deployed members and often engage relatives and friends of deployed personnel in conversation about their concerns. 

e. When we have a member who deploys and know which Sunday is their last here before leaving, we have a blessing for them and family as part of our Sending Rite in worship. 

 

13.  Chaplain (Colonel) F. Eric Wester, Senior Military Fellow
Institute for National Security Ethics and Leadership
National Defense University, Marshall Hall (Room 305B)

For local congregations to invite local Reserve and National Guard units for any special services where prayers or messages of commitment and grace can undergird their life in service to the Nation.  And as an active duty Army Chaplain, I always relish any opportunity to preach in a local Lutheran parish.